Perfectionism & Codependency Group

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Perfectionism & Codependency Group
Weekly on-going coaching group
“Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.”
– Brené Brown

Ever wanted a weekly meeting of like-minded people to ask questions, and explore themes of living a wholehearted life on a regular basis? What makes this group unique, is that it provides you the opportunity to process your current, day-to-day struggles with perfectionism and codependency in a facilitated discussion group. So that everyone has a chance to share, process, and practice empathetic feedback, space is limited. This is a weekly on-going coaching group.

This group is for you if you:
  • want a place to share and get feedback around how to live your imperfect, authentic life
  • want a safe space to practice vulnerability and empathy with others
  • are looking for a regular on-going group to process daily experiences with perfectionism and/or codependency
  • have participated in any of the workshops and want to go deeper into your own work

Fees :
$45 – per session, drop-in fee *
$400 – pack of 10 sessions

*Sliding scale available for: full-time students, vets, and low-income individuals. Please inquire for more details.

What is Perfectionism? What is Codependency?

Perfectionism is a tricky word in our modern society. I see some people cling on it like a badge of honor. Perfection is not healthy striving or achievement; it is based on a desire for external validation. It actually takes us away from authentic achievement, growth and self-improvement. Perfectionism keeps us stuck and holds us back.

• ” Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.
• Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because perfection doesn’t exist. It’s an unattainable goal. Perfectionism is more about perception than internal motivation, and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much time and energy we spend trying.
• Perfectionism is addictive, because when we invariably do experience shame, judgment, and blame, we often believe it’s because we weren’t perfect enough. Rather than questioning the faulty logic of perfectionism, we become even more entrenched in out quest to look and do everything just right.
• Perfectionism actually sets us up to feel shame, judgment, and blame, which then leads to even more shame and self-blame: “Its my fault, I’m feeing this way because I’m not good enough.””
-Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

The definition of codependency is often in dispute. At its root I believe co-dependency is an abandonment of oneself. This can show up as a wide array of behaviors from people pleasing to controlling, perfectionism to compulsive thoughts or behaviors. It is stepping away from your authentic self. Codependency has been described as an addiction, a disease, the human condition, a learned behavior, and more. Codependency often ” involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs” and can occur in any type of relationship. Some mental health experts believe that codependency is at the root of all addiction.

“Co-dependence is the most common of all addictions: the addiction to looking elsewhere. We believe that something outside of ourselves—that is, outside of our True Self—can give us happiness and fulfillment. The ‘elsewhere’ may be people, places, things, or behaviors or experiences. Whatever it is, we may neglect our own selves for it.”
– Charles L Whitfield
“What does codependency look like? Codependency comes in may forms:
•The young girl who believes she needs a knight in shining armor to save her from a life of single hood is codependent.
•The young boy who believes he cannot express his feelings because he will not be accepted by society is codependent.
•The mother who defines herself by her children’s successes or failures is codependent.
•The father who always has to be strong and good to hold up the family is codependent.
•The person who constantly takes care of other people without their consent is codependent.
•The person who compulsively tries to control others, even if it’s in the name of their best interests, is codependent.
•The person who cannot leave an abusive relationship is codependent.
•The person who cannot set healthy boundaries is codependent.
•The person who cannot leave a relationship whereby the other person is mentally, emotionally, or physically unavailable is codependent.”
Melissa Karnaze, “What is Codependency”, Mindful Construct

Previous attendance of The Creative Imperfectionista or Daring Way intensive workshops is highly recommended. Individual coaching is also available to prepare those interested in joining this group.

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